yelling and screaming creates hostile environment
One of the greatest experience ever were my excruciating pain. They helped me realize my true potential & I am grateful for them all ~ Milagro Da’Greatest PERIOD
I just know that for a while now (earlier this year or late last year), every one or two weeks, I am out of commission for a few days due to lung issues. At first, it happened every six months then I’m out of commission. To every three months then I’m out. To every month, I’m out. To every one or two weeks, I’m out. I am a dancer/entertainer so every week or two weeks for a few days, I am not able to do my thing. Honestly and truthfully, I don’t know exactly to pin point the root cause of what’s going on in my innerverse. I think since my parents and my step father fought a lot which created a hostile environment that til this day, I am triggered unconsciously. It could be that the mucus within my lungs aren’t being expelled properly. Which my body stays in this cycle of not properly healing itself. Before I begin this blog post. There is nothing wrong with yelling and screaming. Since yelling and screaming have a positive and negative polarity to it. We can use it for like in sports or we can use it when we have emotional turmoil within and haven't learn how to deal and heal it.
One of my roommates children are visiting him and they have been here for about two, going on three weeks now. They are twins (both boys) in my household environment right now that reminds me of my own childhood upbringing. They both don’t talk. They make a lot of noises and that’s it. They understand English but they both don’t speak it. I haven’t heard them ask or say anything. What got my attention is that they are twins and I am a Gemini which represents twins. So I am perceiving that it has something to do with my throat chakra of being one of many or main root cause of my lung issues. Something that I became aware of. That one of the twins have a persistent cough. They cough every morning and at times, during night time also. Both twins are consistently being yelled at by both father and grandmother. I don’t remember if I talked much while as a child especially once my brother and sister left due to divorce from my step father. Damn, I been through a lot of shit lol. Anyways, yelling at a child consistently blocks the throat chakra usually. Hell, it did for me. Shoutout to Irish Sea moss. I take it three times a day since I dance every day. “Side note” one of the twins came into my room and took both my spiritual car toys. Fuck it, they can have it. At first I was upset but hey, it must be a spiritual thing.
“Update, before post this blog 8/1/21” one of the twins left their watch in my room and he said that’s my watch. I was shock and relieved they can talk.
From my own observation, the uneasiness starts in my throat (once the pattern or cycle starts over) then this prickly feeling from my root or sacral chakra manifest usually before I go dancing, during dancing, and sometimes right after dancing damn near every day until the cycle and pattern starts over and it happens all over again. Every morning when I wake up, I cough up mucus and have to blow my nose numerous of times. Then it stops. Until the following next day, it happens again and again until the cycle and pattern starts over again. And I repeat it all over again. I am grateful to be able to express this to the world and not feel ashamed and disgusted because of this dis-ease I have been experiencing.
As I reflect on my life, I am attracted and drawn to people & environments with similar vibrational frequency energy state of being that came from similar hostile environments of fighting, yelling, screaming, etc. within the household. I was hanging with this woman (that I recently cut off) and we are out in public and I told her I don’t need your protection and she went left. She was yelling at me in public. What’s crazier. A few days before, my ex weed man (I cut him off too), was yelling at me in public because I didn’t want to buy weed from him anymore. The woman I recently cut off helped me realized my self worth. While I was at her crib, she asked me if we can go to the store. I said sure. This is the second time this woman asked me to buy her a pack of cigarettes. The first time, she said she left her card at home and she would pay me back. I knew that was a lie so I said no. Plus, I bought some groceries for her out of my own strength and she told me I don’t do shit for her. Which was a turn off because it let me know the small things I do, don’t mean shit to her. So again, she asked can I buy her a pack of cigarettes? I said no. She said can you buy my liquor? I said no. She said you ain’t buying me anything? I said yep! So she said okay. Now, she got her cigarettes, didn’t say anything to me. She went to the liquor store and got her shit. She didn’t say anything to me. Now, it looks like I am stalking her. So eventually she said oh, you still here. I was like huh. She said you ain’t buying me anything, why are you here? I said you right and bounce. This is exactly the way my mother did to me. If I’m not helping them, I ain’t shit to them. She said some shit and realized I don't give attention to that and she tried to apologize for the way she swoop so low to call me names and shit. Yeah, I know my worth.
I remembered growing up (young teen) and my nose just kept on running. I tried all kinds of medicine for being diagnosed with allergies, sinus, etc. but none of it worked. Then in high school, I had pneumonia which lead to asthma and bronchitis during my college days. Not knowing and understanding that no medicine can treat emotional and mental turmoil. Everything is being reversed now but it takes patience because this kind of energy I have been holding on to for years including other shit that’s been piled up on top of my traumas and triggers. I just bought this inhaler that sends vibrations down into my lungs and break up the mucus so that I can cough it up and so that whatever mucus is left in my lungs will not keep me in that cycle and patterns.
“Update 8/2/21” I bought this inhaler that vibrates and breaks up the mucus (when I blow into it) that get stuck within my lungs airways. It finally hit me that when I cough up the mucus, it hard for it to come up. Matter of fact, it gets stuck within the airways and accumulate. So I understand now that since it get stuck. My body will do it best to get rid of it and I stay in the state of being. I had to face this pain over and over and over again and I am truly grateful to experience it over and over and over again. It’s mind blowing that once the mucus get sticky, it’s hard for the body to expel it out of the body. So since my body is used to be in this state. I have to be persistent to help my body override this pattern/cycle. This experience was the greatest experience PERIOD. I used to look at this experience as negative so I had to work day in, night out of being grateful for it even when I had a hard time breathing (multi times and that’s an understatement). My roommate, Rastafarian, gave me some herb tonic to help cleanse my lung pathway ways. Very grateful!